i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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