i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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