I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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