I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We are two peas in an std pod
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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