This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
