It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
