It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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