We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize