eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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