i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
