come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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