i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
