i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
