I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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