just come out here and I will go home with you...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
