Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
