Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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