So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
my liver is dry heaving
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
