He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
