I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize