she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
