I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
