there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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