i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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