Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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