We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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