she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
