vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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