i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Randomize
