Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
