how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
