help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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