I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
