The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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