whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
