i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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