I wanna bring you to show and tell
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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