it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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