Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
