Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
