was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
