I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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