Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
