That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Is it because I queefed?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
