So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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