i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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