I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
