she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize