The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Still dying that you shit outside
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
