I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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