I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
