There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize