Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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