There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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