You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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