There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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